I Drove You Crazy
by IAmDrowningForYou
Summary: AU/DRUG USE. Let the flood rush over you, extinguishing the dying embers in your eyes.
1. Chapter 1

WARNING: Drug use. Non-canon characters. AU. Hermione is 18. Sex scene.

This was originally intended to be a one shot but I thought I would turn it into a short story. You may not agree with my portrayal of certain characters but they are not always meant to be canon. The story will get quite dark. I hate writing sex scenes (as you can probably tell), I never even intended to write one, but hey! This is completely AU, certain characters were never killed.

Please do review this, as I love hearing what you guys think.

* * *

Escape.

Paradise.

Numbness.

Anaesthetised.

It's what I need.

Hermione.

Blood starts seeping out of the small puncture mark.

It's a pretty normal sight now.

Suck the air in through bared teeth.

Prepare myself for the deep flood.

Breathe.

Plunge.

I'm slowly drowning.

My hand slips, the needle sticks.

The world closes down around me.

* * *

 _S_

"I am expecting you to write no less than two rolls of parchment for your forthcoming essay on the use of Everlasting Elixers" I scowl at the class in front of me, daring any of them to protest.

Neville Longbottom looks like he is about to burst into tears.

Shock.

My gaze lingers on the golden trio, hoping to notice some minor transgression to bully Potter on.

It looks like today is my lucky day.

"Potter" I bark, to my delight making him jump "Keep your hands to yourself. 10 points from Gryffindor for fondling Miss Granger"

The whole class erupts into laughter, Draco Malfoy wolf whistles.

Potter however goes bright red, the anger visible in his face, causing mine to smirk.

"I was not _fondling_ Hermione" He shouts over the jeers, slamming his hands down on the table.

Who does that little shit think he is?

"SILENCE" I bellow, a deafening silence enters the room. "How dare you speak to me like that Mr Potter, you will serve detention with m—"

"Stop!" Hermione Granger rises to her feet, swaying slightly.

I draw air through my teeth, my temple twitching.

Potter paws at her arm trying to grab her attention but her eyes are fixed on mine.

"Sit down Miss Granger" I snap "How dare you interrupt a teacher"

To my disbelief the stupid girl continues to stand there, her hands grip the table.

I round on Potter "I thought I told you to keep your hands to yourself!"

He snatches his hand back as if it was burnt.

"But professor—" He starts to protest, I hold up my hand quelling his grating voice.

"I believe I instructed you to sit Miss Granger" I narrow my eyes at the silly girl "It would not be in your best interests to continue to defy me" I hiss.

You could hear a pin drop.

No-one risks breathing.

Blood pulsates within me.

"Professor" Potters voice interrupts me once again.

I clench my fists, "I thought I told you cease your incessant noise!"

Must. Not. Use. An. Unforgivable.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

SMACK

I'm jogged out of my reverie.

"Hermione are you okay?"

"Hermione!"

"Ohmigod"

"Stupid mudblood"

Hermione Granger lies unconscious before me.

"Out of my way you blithering fools! Give the girl some air!"

I sweep past them, shoving Weasley out of the way.

Draco Malfoy lets out a snigger, I shoot him a warning look.

Merlin, sometimes I feel like I loathe that boy just as much as I loathe Potter.

 _Focus Severus._

"Hermione!" Potter is shaking the girl, her hair falls over her face.

Gritting my teeth I crouch over her.

"Move Potter!" I command, summoning all my strength not to reduce him to a quivering mess.

The arrogant little shit glowers at me, his face all screwed up in frustration.

I place my hand my to Grangers forehead.

I'm stunned by the coldness seeping through her skin to my own.

"She needs to go to the hospital wing" I mummer.

Potter grabs her hand but I slap it away.

Scooping the girl up into my arms, I leave the entire class in my wake.

* * *

 _H_

"So what do you say Granger?"

I bite my lip, temptation ripples through my body.

"I—I" My voice falters, I know I need to leave.

This isn't right.

"You came to me, remember"

I slowly breathe out, not wanting to comprehend the position I was in.

Clamping my eyes shut, I was six years old again, where my only problems were ones my parents could 'magic' away.

I feel a strand of my hair being tucked behind my ears.

"I sh-shouldn't be here" I stutter but making no effort to move.

My eyes snap open when he starts kissing my neck.

It feels like my body is on fire, every particle of me coming alive.

"Don't leave" He mummers into my neck, biting ever so gently where it meets my collarbone.

A groan escapes from my lips.

His fingers brush against the strap of my dress and a shudder goes down my spine at the prospect.

 _What are you doing Hermione?_

He pulls away from me, I stare into his deep brown eyes a mutual understanding passes through us.

Eventually I find my feet and force myself to stand.

"N-night" I stammer, suddenly unable to look at his face.

I start to make my way towards the door but he grabs me by the arm spinning me round.

His body presses tight against mine like a boa constrictor, his hands are in my hair lacing around my soft chocolate curls, his lips greedily finding mine showering them with kisses.

I know I need to stop this.

I know I need to push him away.

I know I need to leave.

But I make absolutely no protest to his advances, in fact I throw my hands around his neck.

He responds by nibbling at my bottom lip.

I moan into his mouth, my head drowning in the ecstasy of it all.

Pushing me against the wall he slides down the straps of my dress.

My hands grab his shirt, I fumble with the buttons but finally manage to rip it off him.

He laughs softly into my ear, nipping at the lobe.

"God you have no idea how long I've wanted to do this"

I run my hands through his hair, forcing his head up to meet mine.

His eyes pierce through my soul.

Shuddering I bring my lips to his naked chest.

This time it's his turn to groan as my hands snake down to the waistband of his trousers.

"You drive me crazy" He whispers, stroking my hair as I undo the zip, gently pulling them down.

I try not to gasp at the large shape straining against his underwear.

This is the part where I should just walk away.

Leave the room.

I just can't.

I don't want to.

He lifts me up, my legs entwine round his hips.

Locking lips, he carries me across the room back to his bed.

I sink into the soft sheets, my fingers dance circles on his back.

He reaches underneath my back, unclasping the bra quite quickly.

My mind starts to wonder how many times he has done this but then his mouth covers the tip of my breast.

The fire sensation in the pit of my stomach intensifies.

I feel like I'm losing my mind as his tongue starts teasing the nipple.

"Oh my god" I moan, pulling gently at his hair.

He starts planting little kisses all the way down to my knickers.

Pausing he looks up at me, grinning slightly before removing them slowly.

My fingers dig into his shoulders when he starts kissing his way up my inner thigh, gradually making his way to my core.

Why did I ever want to leave?

I arch my back as his hot tongue flicks against my clit.

He teases me relentlessly, pressure builds within me.

Merlin I want him.

I need him.

To my utter dismay he stops, moving back up to my other breast, his mouth encompassing it.

It's time for me to tease him I think defiantly.

I remove his underwear, my hand trails slowly along his manhood.

"Are you trying to kill me?" He breathes into my chest.

Smirking to myself, I continue with the crawling motion taking pleasure in the noises he emits.

He snatches my hand away, pinning it above my head, enclosing it with his own.

Re-positioning himself, I inhale when I feel his throbbing cock against me.

Our eyes meet.

"Are you sure?" He asks me gently, his lips mere millimetres from mine.

"Yes" I sigh, excitement rippling through my nerve endings.

He pushes into me gently, not breaking eye contact.

My eyes slowly flicker open, panic floods through me as I take in my foreign surroundings.

 _What have you done Hermione?_

My insides turn to jelly when I realise I'm naked under the covers.

Breathe.

Breathe.

Breathe.

The bed moves as the stranger next to me rolls over, flinging an arm casually over my shoulders.

Shit.

Then it hits me.

The night before.

The visit.

Oh god.

I had only come here to find out more about a potion that he swore would get me through my exams.

How could I do this to Ron?

Tears threaten to spill over my eyelids.

Things just got out of hand.

I try to block out images of the night before, the way I wanted it just as much as he did.

Ron will never forgive me for this.

"Morning"

I jump not aware of him being awake.

He strokes my bare arm, I feel something hard pressing into my thigh.

"Someone's jumpy this morning" His voice is light and playful.

I sit up quickly, knocking his hand away.

"I can't be here" I exclaim, closing my eyes not wanting to look at him.

I hear the bed creak as he sits up behind me.

Tears start trickling down my face, I cover my closed eyes with my hands.

"Hey, relax. It's okay please don't cry" He pleads softly, gently prising my hands off my face.

He caresses my hair, and my eyes shoot open.

Fred Weasley stares at me intently, the corners of his mouth turned up slightly, his red hair reflecting in the soft sunlight.

I lean into him and he embraces me, making shushing noises to pacify my sobs.


	2. Chapter 2

_H_

I gaze blearily up at the ceiling waiting for the world to come back into focus.

My head pounds.

Urgh what happened?

My surroundings start to materialise and I realise I'm lying in the Hospital Wing.

"Professor Snape was most worried about you" the shrill voice of Madam Pomfrey jars into my mind causing me to jump.

Images of a man shouting, Harry's concerned face, and jeers from my classmates flash through my mind.

Snape worried about me?

"Why am I here?" I croak.

Madam Pomfrey frowns at me, her brow crinkling in concern.

"Do you not remember my dear?"

I bite back a retort that involves the word 'obviously'.

"Why you collapsed in potions earlier, professor Snape had to carry you here"

Collapsed?

Fuck.

Fear starts to ripple through me.

What if she knows?

Wouldn't she have run tests?

 _Calm down Hermione_ _surely if she knew Dumbledore would be here prepared to kick you out._

I try to smile but that just makes her frown even more.

"Hmm perhaps I should run more tests" She says more to herself than me.

I fling back the sheets ignoring the pain in my head

"No!" I half shout, causing her to step back in alarm.

Getting my breathing back under control, I try reassuring her that I fainted due to hunger and stress.

She stares at me silently for a while and I try to look innocent.

My heart thuds in my chest.

At last she breaks her gaze and sighs.

"Well you certainly wouldn't be the first student I've had in here from that. You need to take proper care of yourself! Your body can't function for long with food deprivation".

I tune out of her lecture, trying to gather my thoughts.

Well at least she doesn't know the real reason I'm in here.

Could you imagine the scandal?

The disappointment?

I need to be more careful.

I can't let this happen again.

No-one must ever know.

Eventually I'm discharged and make my way down to the Great Hall on the promise that I'll 'eat well'.

I ignore the dull aching inside me.

 _It's too soon, people will be suspicious._

Walking into the Great Hall, I quickly find Harry and Ron, pointedly ignoring the staff table as I take my seat beside Harry.

"Hermione are you okay? We tried visiting but Madam Pomfrey wouldn't let us!"

I look at my best friend, Harry Potter and take note of the worry in his emerald eyes.

Breathe.

"I'm fine, I just hadn't eaten and the stress from the Transfiguration essay just got to me I guess" I let out a fake laugh, trying to show that everything is okay.

Meanwhile my heart is going _thud, thud, thud._

"I'm glad that you're feeling better" Ron Weasley grunts at me, his mouth full of food as usual.

I start piling my plate with potato's and help myself to a slice of pumpkin pie, hoping to quell the stares coming from my fellow Gryffindors.

Forcing myself to eat, I feel a tingle on the side of my neck.

 _Don't look._

 _You'll regret it._

 _Don't look!_

But it's too late my head turns and I meet his eyes.

I'm rewarded by a stabbing pain in my stomach.

He retains eye contact with me, his face holding a look of disapproval.

Oh god.

Why do I never listen to myself.

"So Snape had to carry you to the hospital wing, I hope you disinfected yourself"

I'm jolted back to the Gryffindor table, Harry is smirking at me.

Giving a small smile, I ponder over his and Madam Pomfrey's words.

 _Professor Snape was most worried about you._

* * *

 _F_

I lay there watching her pull the top over her head.

"Having fun?"

She turns to me, raising an eyebrow.

Grinning I put my hands behind my head, unable to believe these past couple of weeks.

Who would have thought that after all this time, I would get what I want.

It had been torture watching my brother fawn all over her, having to wait in the shadows hoping she would notice me.

Well she certainly had now.

"You can't stay there all day, your mum is expecting us for dinner soon"

I groan, completely forgetting about the arrangement this evening.

There was no way I could get out of it, I hadn't seen my family for weeks.

Each time mum invited me I would claim one excuse or another as to why I couldn't go.

The guilt is too much to face sometimes.

"I better go, see you there I guess…" Hermione trails off, looking at me nervously.

I nod my head silently, and she leaves the room shutting the door softly behind her.

"Fred! At long last dear come here!" Mum rushes towards me as if it's been years.

I bend my head down to her level so she can kiss my cheek.

"Hello Mum" I force myself to smile, breathing in the scent of home.

She takes my coat, hanging it on my old hook.

"Your father and I worry that you spend too long slaving away at that office of yours!" She stands there with her hands on her hips appraising me. "Have you lost weight?"

Letting out a deep sigh I reassure her that I have been doing just fine.

"Well if you say so…" She glances at the clock on the wall. "Excellent your father is on his way home! George is already here, he's brought Angelina"

Ah yes, my brother and his girlfriend.

 _Too bad you can't exactly announce yours…_

Not that Hermione is my girlfriend.

 _Then what is she?_

Well she's a girl…

"Fred?"

I'm jogged out of my thoughts, mum stands there with a cooks spoon in her hand looking concerned.

"Uh nothing just—"

"Mum have you seen my socks?"

My hands grip the back of the dinning chair.

"Oh hi Fred, you alright?"

I can barely look my little brother in the eye.

"Okay thanks, you?" I mumble desperate to be at home with a glass of Firewhiskey.

Before he has a chance to reply, mum is my saving grace.

"Honestly Ronald you're seventeen years old! Do you seriously expect me to clean up after you all the time?! I suggest you go and look in Ginny's room, she was sorting out some washing earlier!"

Ron shrugs at me, before scampering up the spiral staircase.

"Are you sure you're okay dear?"

I realise I'm wearing a pained expression and hurriedly change it to something more pleasing.

"Just tired that is all"

Wrong thing to say as she starts fussing around me.

Eventually George hears the commotion and rescues me.

"Really mother" George shakes his head at her, rolling his eyes at me."Come on Fred, Angelina is dying to meet you"

He drags me into the living room where Angelina Johnson sits, smiling at me.

"Well well well look who it is! Long time no see stranger!" She stands up, enveloping me into a hug.

I've always had a soft spot for Angelina, it's strange to think I took her to the Yule Ball three years ago. George told me that night he was furious with me, accompanying Angelina when he wanted to ask her.

 _My, my, you do have a habit of stealing your brothers girl…_

I mentally shake such thoughts out of my head, releasing Angelina from the embrace.

"You look good Angelina!" I exclaim, admiring her red dress.

George leans on my shoulder.

"Careful Angelina, my brother here might start impersonating me just to get a closer look"

I elbow George in the stomach whilst Angelina laughs at the pair of us.

We start reminiscing on our school days and things almost feel back to normal.

Well that is until of course the moment my father gets home and dinner is served…

I can't believe the way the table has been set out.

You have got to be kidding me.

My father sits at the head of the table.

Then it's George to my right with Angelina opposite him.

Harry is on my left with Ron opposite him.

Next to Harry is our mother with Ginny sat opposite her.

And here I sit with Hermione opposite me.

Great.

She barely makes eye contact with me, instead choosing to focus on the plate in front of her.

Which is probably for the best.

I think.

"So Angelina hows living with George going? Has he driven you crazy yet?" My father asks, a cheeky grin on his face.

Mum tuts at him, taking a sip of wine.

"I've just about managed to stay sane Mr Weasley" She responds, squeezing Georges hand who feigns a hurt face.

"Good on you Angelina, it's about time George had a decent girl in his life" My mother chimes in, looking satisfied with the happy couple.

I chew on a piece of beef, my heart hammering in my chest, praying she doesn't —

"What about you Fred, when are you going to bring a nice girl home?" My mum looks at me innocently, I feel like the guilt is written all over my face.

"Me and your mother was starting to think you had met someone as we've hardly seen you these past few weeks" My dad jokes, nudging George.

I don't dare look at Hermione, "No just been busy that's all dad", I try not to trip over my words but it feels like my mouth is made of led.

My mother goes to say something but I cut over her asking how my fathers work has been at the Ministry.

Thankfully that causes a debate on a case dad has worked on recently, I shift in my chair trying to get more comfortable.

I look up at one point and lock eyes with Hermione, she blushes, accidentally dropping her fork.

God this is torture.

Why couldn't I have fallen for someone like Katie Bell?

Someone who was my age.

Someone who wasn't dating my little brother.

I close my eyes willing for this charade to be over with.

I'll go as soon as dinner is finished, I tell myself.

However I'm not so lucky, as a big apple crumble is brought out.

I try to protest that I need to go but my family won't have it, insisting that I at least have a small portion.

After all my mother is convinced that I have lost weight.

The conversation turns towards darker matters, apparently Lucius Malfoy has had his mansion raided again but unfortunately nothing had been found.

We continue discussing what he might be hiding when out the corner of my eye, I catch Ron dabbing Hermione's mouth with a napkin.

What the hell does he think he is doing?

Jealousy flares up inside me, I grip the spoon in my hand so tight it almost snaps.

 _Act normal._

 _Act normal._

 _Act normal._

I chant this over and over in my head but it's no use.

Hermione smiles at him, that doughy sweet smile she has.

That's it.

I stand up so quick I cause everyone to jump.

"I need air" I announce.

Everyone, except Hermione who is looking fixedly at her bowl, seems concerned.

Reassuring them that I'm fine, and that I think the wine has gone to my head slightly, and don't worry I'm sure I'll be okay once I get outside for a few minutes. I flee the room, resisting all urge to slam the door behind me.

The night air hits me, sending shivers down my spine.

Or is that the comedown from rage?

I wanted to rip that sodden napkin from his hands.

Fuck.

Bowing my head in shame I don't hear the door open behind me.

"Fred?"

Spinning round I see Hermione standing there in the pale light.

"What do you want?" My tone is harsher than what I intended. "Shouldn't you be back inside?"

She gives me a wounded look, but stands her ground.

"I came to see if you're alright" she mummers.

I run my hand through my hair and look to see that no-one else was near the door.

"What do you think? Finished cozying up to Ron now have we?" The jealousy is clear in my voice.

Her mouth drops open, stunned by my question.

"Don't be so stupid! What did you expect me to do? I can't just tell him! Don't you know how hurt he would be?"

I hold up my hand, cutting her off, "Still, you didn't need to fawn all over him!" I can't keep my voice from rising.

She steps closer to me, anger and hurt written on her face, "I was not _fawning_ all over him!"

"Do you think I'm stupid Hermione? I saw the way you were looking at him" I move closer to her, snarling.

"Right now I think you are being stupid! I was just being friendly, I didn't know that wasn't allowed anymore!" Tears start falling down her cheeks "Do you have any idea how hard this is?"

My glacier of a heart starts to thaw. It never occurred to me that she would find lying about us just as difficult.

I take in a deep breath, "I'm sorry. I've never had to do this before"

She wipes her eyes, "And you think I have?"

I pull her close to me, nestling my head in her soft hair.

She clings onto me, sobbing into my chest.

"Shh it's will be okay, everything will work out just fine" I reassure her, not feeling wholly convinced myself.

I feel her nod her head.

We stand there not saying anything for a minute, until I hear voices.

Springing apart, I smooth down the front of my shirt, Hermione dabs furiously at her eyes.

Not looking at each other, she walks back into the warm house.

"Sorry Ron, I ended up chatting to Fred" I hear her lie, her voice brighter than usual.

The door clicks shut behind her.

Letting out a groan, I stare up at the night sky wondering what sort of situation I had gotten myself into.


End file.
